“Come and hear, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.”
There’s an unsettling feeling that one gets when you’re supposed to do something and you ignore it. I had this unsettling for…well, I guess I don’t remember not having it…
I woke up one morning, about a year and a half ago, with the memory of an only-just-started dream printed on the insides of my eyelids. I kept my eyes tightly shut, willing myself to hold onto it, to see what happened next. Who were these characters? Where were they going? What brought them together? It wasn’t the first time that my imagination demanded the details to a wisp of a story that danced through my mind.
That night I opened my computer and I quickly typed out my dream, just to get it down so I wouldn’t forget it. It was far from a story, but it was something. If you’re wondering, this dream was not “inspired”. There was no divine message laced within the folds of my mind. It honestly could have just been a compilation of the thoughts I was thinking before I went to bed. But as I sat there staring at my computer screen, I knew there was still something in it: a decision, and the unsettling.
I think I’m supposed to write. (Insert terrifying scream of panic!)
The step from “I think” to “I know” is a big one, and absolutely petrifying. I’ve spent the last year and a half – and hours upon hours – writing and I’m still not bold enough to say that I know I’m supposed to write. But I did it. I wrote. And I completed my first novel. I am continuing to write. And what’s more, that unsettling has transformed into an urging.
The reality is, I have no idea what I’m doing. But God does. I’ve shared this area of my life with others, doing my best to test the waters, and I have been overwhelmed by support and affirmation. So here I go, stepping out in faith on this new adventure.
Come July, I’ll be heading to North Carolina for the She Speaks Conference. This is a conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries for women who feel called by God to speak or write. The idea of attending this conference was a mountain before me. The idea that I’m being called is a whole range of mountains!! Doubts and fears plague me, yet the door stands open.
So why am I blogging?
I’m writing this as my heart’s response to Psalm 66:16, “Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.” I don’t know who would actually want to know the workings of my mind, or the stories behind what I’m writing, but many are praying for me, and have even donated to get me to the She Speaks Conference. Their kindness and generosity has given me the courage to share.
So with this blog, I invite you to come along with me on this journey as I share how God is moving in my life and through my writing. If He’s calling me to write, who am I to say no? And do I dare turn from His blessings to hide in fear? No. I will write. I will share. And may He, the Author and Perfector of our own stories, be glorified.